a post 4 years ago (edited)

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Seven things I wanna share:

1. I never took any college entrance exam when I was still in high school (e.g.: UPCAT).

2. I'm obsessive-compulsive and I sometimes hate it.

3. I have a long tongue (and I don't find it sexy, I find it weird).

4. I'm finally living my dream (I'm taking up Mass Communications).

5. My childhood food includes: mapo tofu, seafood kare-kare, sibut, dinuguan, cabbage with egg, etc.

6. I used to be scared of marriage, but now, marriage doesn't seem so scary at all.

7. I like babies/kids.
Tag: Alphabet Version...

A - Age: 21

B - Band Listening To Right Now: oh a lot. My playlist is filled with songs from Queso, Faspitch, Urbandub, Greyhoundz, etc. (OPM)

C - Career: full time student. Yes, I call it a career, well, it's a stepping stone before having the "actual" career.

D - Drink or Smoke: I used to drink like there's no tomorrow, but now, I don't anymore. I'm back from being an occasional drinker. And I don't smoke. I smoked few times, only when I was sooooooo full and when I'm soooo drunk.

E - Easiest Friends To Talk To: There's a lot,really.

F - First Crush: Dean Richard. (I hope he won't be able to read this. hehe)

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: gummy bears. I find them more interesting to eat; you may start with the head, or with the legs, or arms, or tummy, the list of combination is endless :)

H - Have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend: boyfriend <3

I - In love: very much :)

J- Junk Food You Like: any potato chips.

K - Kids: I like them. They're adorable.

L - Longest Ride Ever: Leyte-Manila landtrip

M - Making love out of nothing at all: hahaha. No.

N - Names For Your Future Kids: depends. if it's a boy: Amadeus Seven, If it's a girl: Marie Mignotte

O - One Wish You Have Now: I wish everything would be okay.

P - Phobias: closed space and crowded areas

Q - Favorite Quote: There's a lot.

R - Reasons To Smile: my life and everything on it

S - Sleeping Time: it varies.

T - Time You Woke Up: quarter to 7

U - Unknown Fact About You:

V - Vegetable You Hate: anything slimy, I don't like it. e.g.: okra

W - Worst Habit:

X - X-rays You’ve Had: I had my x-ray 2008, for my health card

Y - Yummy Foods: There's a lot, I love 'em all ;)

Z - Zodiac Sign: capricorn

Estreya (revisited)

Before having this site, I have an old blog, I've been juggling that blog from April 2007 until April 2008.  Fast forward to 2011, I'm reading my old posts from my old blog and I can't help but to laugh and shake my head.  Good thing I didn't delete my old blog account.  I can revisit it any time I want.  Anyway, what's so good about keeping my old blog is that I can re-read what I wrote and I can compare the changes over the years.  And speaking of changes, I can proudly say that over 3-4 years, I've matured.  I can't believe how skeptic and pessimistic I was.  How shallow and insecure,too.  I had trust issues -- trust issues not only to others, but to myself as well.  I was so scared of loving.  I always wanted to be 2 steps ahead of everything.  Sure, at some point, I was happy with this immaturity, but now, I am completely happy.  Over the years, I learned to trust myself and others.  I became optimistic and I gained self-confidence. And most importantly, I'm not scared of loving anymore.  I'm so glad I'm experiencing the feeling of giving an unconditional love.  It really is rewarding -- loving someone without asking anything in return, without pressuring your partner or whatnots.  Time does a lot of wonder, really.  And I'll never delete my old blog account, and so as this blog (in case, I get to make another blog or I ger tired of updating this site) :)

06-24-11

Warning: This will all be random shits

Time flies by so fast, like really fast. 

I looked into my brother's recent photos and that's when it hit me -- he's all grown up already.  He's starting college and he looks like a big man now.  Well, he looks a bit like father.  I can still remember vividly how I would tease him and make lambing to kiss me or ask for his permission to bite him. 

I just miss those times when he was still a kid.  How I wish I could go back to those times and be less mean to him and be more patient.  Ahhh. . .good times, good times.  They're just really the good times.  They'll be memories from the past that I would never get tired of sharing with other people. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sigh. I miss writing. I don't know what happened but it seems to me that I'm having a writer's block.  I miss how I would immediately write about something.  Ugh.  I hate this unwanted hiatus in writing. Oh well, pretty soon, I hope, I'd be back.

P.S.: To the Big Man Up There, I'm kinda lonely right now.  I'm bothered by things I shouldn't be bothered with.  I need Thy comfort and please let things be okay. Thank you. -,- 

Just all too much to take in a day.

Death. loneliness. paranoia. -- these things are so hard to take in a day.  

Death makes life so surreal.  It's like one day you're still alive and kicking, then the next you're 6 feet under the ground.  I'll never understand the logic behind dying at a very tender age.  It's just so unfair. It's like life's telling you "hey, I'm a bitch. Imma punch you anytime, anywhere".  It's like "be careful" doesn't make sense at all, because after all, we're gonna die anyway.  

I've never been so lonely in my whole life.  I have people around me and yet something's missing.  And this loneliness is so scary.  I just can't stop crying.  I want my family, I want my brothers to be here.  I want to be with my boyfriend.  I want to be happy, just like my any normal day.  I want this loneliness out of me. It's going to tear me apart.  

I've never been the paranoid one.  I always think of happy thoughts.  I'm Miss Brightside for crying out loud.  And now, I just don't understand, how paranoia suddenly crept up my system.  It irritating, it's like I want to throw things and shout. It's messing with my head and crashing down my confidence. I don't want to be an insecure bitch. I'm not like this and I hate it so much.  And I can't tell this to the very important person in my life because I'm scared of what he might think about me.  

I'm starting to be a loss cause.  I want my sound sleeps back. I don't want to cry anymore.  I want my happiness back.  

Catching Up

Yes, I have a lot of catching up to do.  It's been awhile, I can't even remember the last time I wrote here. 

Anyway, I finally had my well-deserved vacation.  I went back to Baguio for 10 days because it's my brothers' graduation. Here... 

Shoti laki's Chinese graduation

Shoti liit's graduation. And yes, please look for the black sheep! :D 

And I was also able to hang out with my best friends! :D Weeeee.  It's been a while and I was so glad I saw them again.  

But then, the highlight of my vacation -- I ate one day old chick, again after 5 years! :D

yes guys, this is an odoks! :D YUM!! :D 

I also hang out with my family.  We went to a hot spring resort.  I was able to try steam bath which was a very funny experience :)) 

the gang ;) 

We also made a side trip in Manila for a few days.  I had fun getting lost inside a mall with little brother.  If we didn't get lost, I wouldn't able to see the Etude shop and find the band shirts I've been looking for. 

So yeah, this summer is pretty much fun.  I hope the fun won't stop.  And yes, things between boyfriend and I are good, I couldn't ask for more :) 

P.S.: Little brother is here in Davao.  Sad, though, that Shoti laki can't come here because of their early enrollment (he's entering college now!) So, so proud of my two brothers :) 

Everyday ♥

Got a letter in the mail today
And I'm glad you're doing fine
You tell me you're missing me
And it's cold in New York City


Well me and the girls, we're alright
Thinking about you night after night
And if you feel the same way too
Just imagine me whispering to you


Everyday I'll always love you
Everyday I'm always thinking of you
Everyday's another lonely day without you
Everyday you're here beside me
Everyday I'm always dreaming of you
Everyday I will be right here waiting for you
Everyday . . .


It's another long and sleepless night
And thoughts run through my mind
Guess I'm just feeling lonely
It's been so empty since you've been gone


I'll be holding on for it won't be long
I'll be counting the days 'til I see you home
I know you feel the way I do
Just remember the words I'll say to you

Calling all dads

Hey Pa, what up? You've been on my dreams for 2 nights already and it makes me miss you even more T.T
Sigh, i miss you, Pa.
I can imagine if you're still with us, you could have strangled the guy who broke my heart on my birthday and during the holidays. But then again, if you would see me this happy, you would change your mind from strangling the guy to just being the strict and "be-careful-on-your-next-move-I'm-watching kind of dad.
I really miss having a dad. Having a dad around makes you feel more secured.  


So, to all the dads out there, please, please take care of yourselves, especially if you have daughters.  Your kids will need you not only when they're young, but more so, when they start to grow up and become men and women of their generations. Trust me when I say it's really heartbreaking to lose the first man they ever love. 

01.30.11

Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was
Going through
All the time we were apart I thought
Of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same 

Especially for you
I wanna tell you I was feeling that
Way too
And if dreams were wings, you
Know
I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I'm next to you 

No more dreaming about
Tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you 

And now were back together,
Together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you 

Especially for you
I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
How I'm certain that our love was
Meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now that I'm next to you 

I've waited long enough to find you
I wanna put all the hurt behind you
And I wanna bring out all the love
Inside you, oh and
Now were back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you 

You were in my heart
My love never changed
And now that I'm next to you
No more dreaming about
Tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the
Sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you 

And Now were back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you 

Together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

01.09.11

Thank you.
Thank you for giving me the chance to realize that I am capable of giving unconditional love, a true love I thought I've already seen before.
It is only this time that I could proudly say that I love someone truly.  Regardless of the person's imperfections and short-comings; of the person's inconsistencies and dilemmas.  I finally learned to love a person for everything that he was, he is, and he will be in the future.  
Being able to feel this way, liberated me in a whole new level.  It showed me a lot of things, made me realize a lot of things.  It really taught me patience and compassion for the other person.  I forgot how to get mad or get even, or even get cold.  The pain I felt was nothing compared to the happiness I feel just seeing the person happy.  
Being able to understand the person no matter how absurd it might seem to other people is surprisingly rewarding.  
I also learned that when we truly love someone, we never question whether the person deserves it or not.  Unconditional love knows no questions and boundaries and limitations. It is always absolute. 
Thank you Lord for making this person an instrument for teaching and showing me what true love is. . .

1.1.11

January 1, 2011 (wow, i still don't get the hang of typing 2011, i typed 2010)

So, anyway, it's new year. 2010 had been, i don't know how to put it; it had been very kind, very giving, and very mean to me. It started with a blast. Then surprised me during the summer. It asked me to do a very important decision that definitely changed my life. It had been very nice during the 1st half of the year, it started my 2nd half with travels and good news.  But it had been very mean when it neared the last part of the year. Needless to say, 2010 had been a very bumpy ride and i'll be perfectly hypocrite if i wouldn't say i loved the ride, somehow.  2010 taught me a lot of things.  Elaborating all the lessons that i've learned wouldn't be necessary anymore, for what's important is that i've learned. 

2010 wouldn't be one hell of a year without the people who had been a great part of the said year.  And as usual, and i'll never get tired of saying this, THANK YOU -- 2 words i'll never,ever forget.  

So there, so long 2010, hello 2011. (i still don't know how to welcome 2011, i'm still in a bit of a limbo, you see.)

11-09-10

November 9

This is clearly NOT my day.  A string of unfortunate events happened.  And the highlight today: I was elected as the president for our Developmental Journalism class.  I do NOT LIKE responsibility.  My goal this semester is to pass all my subjects. THAT'S IT. I never put being a president on my goal O.o I just hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I. HATE. IT. ugh. KMN please.  Gahd.  So long for a moderate busy semester, hello very, VERY busy semester :( 

On a lighter note, . . .

I was walking on our street earlier when I saw kids playing.  I remembered my little brother, my shoti liit.  I miss him.  And I just don't miss his being malambing, and being gullible (sometimes), and having someone to boss around (kidding Ü); I also miss his being annoying sometimes, being stubborn, being disobedient sometimes.  Simply put, I miss the totality of him, and I realized that what I felt for my little brother, and the other brother (shoti laki), too is pure love.  This is the unconditional love that is always found in families.  And soon, I would like to feel this kind of love to another human being that is not biologically related to me.  Then, we'll create our own family to whom I'll show the unconditional love that I feel towards my family and to their old man :) 

47 days before Christmas.

Odd. I feel rather sad or melancholic. Sure, I feel the Christmas spirit; with all the gift giving and such. But, why do I feel down as the days near the 25th of December? I don't want to think that it's because I've lost someone that's why I feel this way.  I mean, it's been 4 years, and yes, it has been 4 years already and Christmas is still almost an ordinary day.  Sigh. I'll try to avoid this feeling.  Everyone should be happy, or at least just for this day.  o.o

Goodnight.,

HP Fever

My HP hype is back! :D I'm so excited to see HP7 Part1.  Ohh, I just hope they would give justice to this last book.  I mean, it's the last book, the last installment, they might as well give all their best to it and not murder it like what they did to the first 6 books.  

So, anyway, in line with this HP fever, if I have the chance to have horcruxes, these would be the items I'll have:

• Naruto cup I gave my brother 2 Christmas ago. -- Please, don't ask why, it's like the first thing I saw while doing this. O.o
• HIMYM cds -- The reason is very obvious.
• My favorite family picture -- I think it was taken when I was still in 3rd year high school.
• This laptop -- I just love this baby ;)
• My Hello Kitty notebook last sem -- It's my favorite school notebook.  It shows my determination to have really decent grades last semester.
• Wayfarer shades -- My favorite shades of all time.  
• My Pilot G-Tec C4 pen -- Please, don't ask why. :)

Toodles. 

11-07/08-10

November 7.

6 words for this day. HARRY POTTER 1-6 MARATHON. ^____^

November 8.

Monday. The first class for MC7 TV Writing and Production. It started off with a quiz, just as I expected. Our instructor gave as a quick overview of the course, and I'm so dead when we get to the part of writing Visayan news :/. Yes, my waterloo.  Even if I stayed here in Davao for 4 years already, I still couldn't construct a straight Visayan sentence; it's either I misuse a word/words or I mispronounce them. But then again, this course still makes me excited :D. Yeap, so much for that.  I have to go back watching dvds :) 

P.S.: I love, love, love Neil Patrick Harris, he really is AWESOME ;)

11-05/06-10

November 5

I wasn't able to make a post on this day because I was drunk. Yeap, my friends and I started drinking at 1am.  And I hate it.  I mean, I hate the aftermath.  I had hyper-acidity and it was so painful.  I even dislocated a bone at my back and now it's swelling. Ugh. KMN. I swear, this would be the last time I'd be drinking hard.  I don't experience hyper-acidity when I drink beer.  And by the afternoon, Aubrey and I watched dvds until we fell asleep.  

November 6

Aubrey and I were surprised when we woke up.  We were able to sleep on the same couch.  It's kinda hard to explain our sleeping position.  So anyway, we continued our dvd marathon.  Then, started my Christmas shopping (I know, very early, but what can i do, I have a lot of people to give gifts to) this afternoon.  I already bought my gifty for mother :)

P.S.: Please forgive me for this very mediocre post.  I'm kinda excited to watch Harry Potter 1-6 again. :3

11-04-10

November 4.

It's Jill's birthday :) 

And I finally met my Theater instructor.  And he's something. I mean, one must really be careful in dealing with him and also with their actions in front of him.  He can be nice, but he can kill you. Oh well, in spite of that, I'm still excited with this class.  I have always loved theater.  It has been my frustration and I'm really happy that it's one of my majors.  So, good luck to me and more power, because I can sense that this semester will be a bumpy ride! 

P.S.: I'm glad he's okay.  I'm a bit uneasy since my last dream few nights ago.  Thank you Lord.

11-03-10

November 3.

First day of class and as expected, the classes didn't start. So, we just hang out at Barbie's house and watched Teeth.  I don't want to elaborate the movie, it's just a very sick movie, especially the last part o.o

So there, it's a bit of a boring day, I think, or maybe it's just me.  I already had my warm bath, so yeah, I'm kinda sleepy already.  I think this had been a long day. 

P.S.: I miss ex -,- 

Goodnight

11-02-10

November 2. 

Second semester will start tomorrow. Rawr. 3 majors for this semester and they're all very demanding subjects. Tv production, Theatre, and Developmental Journalism; I wish I could survive all these subjects. Whew. 

So, anyway, it's now November, and all I can ask for this month is to be more awesome! I want to make this month more exciting, I wish more opportunities would come my way, more new experiences, more out of town trips (so that I could explore Mindanao more), and more new friends. 

P.S.: This is a very, very short post. What up?! 

Anniversary!

Hi! This baby is now 1 year old! :D Yey! Whew! I couldn't believe that this baby lasted a year. I mean, my patience for updating this was outstanding. 1 year -- a lot had happened during that 1 year.  I can remember that when I started this blog, I was already in good terms with a friend from before.  I could also remember that I was addicted to games at Facebook.  This was also the time when I broke up with my boyfriend and entered in a relationship with a very good friend.  Ahhh, 1 year. 1 year is just so fast.  So, anyway, I wish that this blog would have a very long life. Well, obviously that would depend on me, I'm like the life line of this baby.  Hmm, Lord another 1 year of patience to update this site :) Thanks! 

P.S.: I spent this day at Costa Marina and I soaked myself under the sun. Thus, SUNBURN! And finished almost 3 cases of San Mig Light with my 3 friends. What up? O_O

A letter to the grave.

Hey Pa, what up? I can smell flowers in the living room right now, so yea, I miss you too :). It's been 4 years Pa, and I never moved on.  As they say, nobody moves on when a loved one dies, they just get use to the fact that they're not here anymore. I miss you a lot Pa.  I miss it when you ask me to do something, I miss it when we eat out, I miss it when we want to watch movies, horror or suspense for that matter, I miss it when you would eventually fall asleep once we start watching those movies, but what I really miss is when you make me feel that you're proud of me and of what I do.  Guess what Pa, shoti laki and shoti liit are really active members of Bell Church and shoti laki won 1st place on an Impromptu Speech in English. I'm so proud of them and I know you are just as proud as I am. 

After 4 years, though, I'm still studying.  I shifted course.  I'm sorry Pa. I know you would want me to finish HRM, but I can't do it anymore.  I'm so sorry I'm such a mess and a screw-up. I failed you Pa. I'm so sorry.  Don't worry, I'm trying my best to make you proud again.  This is the career that I really want to pursue. 

It's sad, though, that you wouldn't be with us when we grow up.  You wouldn't meet my boyfriend now, and shoti laki's girlfriend and shoti liit's future girlfriend.  We can't chill together.  You wouldn't be here to see how much we have changed.  But I'm not complaining with God's plan to get you at a young age.  He has better plans.  I couldn't bear to see you suffering should you be able to survive your attack 4 years ago.  I believe God took you because you were ready to be with Him.  

This is kinda long already. See you in the future Pa (I was suppose to type soon, but then I realized, not yet Pa, I kinda have a lot of things to do first). But I know, we'll be together again.  I really miss you Pa. I love you.