I'm never really good at making friends, but as far as I know, I am good at keeping them, until I found out that 2 of the people I considered friends betrayed me. In my 20 years of living, this is the first time I encountered this problem and I was so clueless on how to handle it. I felt so bad and the pain was even worse than a break-up. The last time I felt this bad was 2 years ago, after I broke up with my boyfriend. What made the situation worse was I never know what were their reasons for betraying me. They never cared to tell me what I might have done wrong to them or what might have been wrong with me. I don't know, maybe they just didn't have the balls to tell me even if I already confronted and asked one of them if there's something wrong. And just like people who doesn't have any proper upbringing at all (I pity their parents who never raised them properly), they just laughed as if nothing happened. And yes, I cried. The thought of betrayal is just so painful. I couldn't believe they did that to think that I tried to be a great friend to them. I was a true friend to them.
After talking to my friends about this, I realized that God is great. He always have better plans. The other, other night, I prayed that *friend1 doesn't have ill-feeling towards me, that my intuition was wrong. And then the next day, *friend1 chatted me on FB(even complimented me and stuff), so I thought, "wow, that was fast, thank you Lord". Little did I know, it was God's way of showing me that they're not real friends because that was the same day I learned that they were talking behind my back and calling me names (God knows since when). So, there, so much for those "friends" that I had. My real friends are right, at the end of the day, it's their lost not mine. I'm always a real friend to everyone, including to them and if they didn't value it or appreciate it then clearly, they're the ones who has the problem. I'll stop pondering on the questions like what's wrong with me or what could I have done wrong. Maybe the very reason they couldn't tell it to me is because nothing's wrong with me. Maybe my real friends are right, they're just INSECURE bitches. And yes, I think I should agree with it now. I'm confident about myself. I'm beautiful in every way I can be (inside-out). I'm intelligent and talented and so much more. And more importantly, I'm happy, I choose to be happy. I'm happy with all my decisions, no regrets. I'm happy and contented with what I have now. And now, I understand, maybe they couldn't stand the thought that I AM HAPPY. Oh well, some people. O.o
I'm looking at this situation on a different light now. God let this happen so that I could appreciate more the real friends that I have. And yes, I'll cherish these people everyday. I'll always be thankful for these people who don't have second thoughts of telling me if I'm doing something wrong and will always accept me in spite of my stupidity. Clearly, they're the ones worth keeping forever <3
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