I never thought this could be a very long post! :D

I'm never really good at making friends, but as far as I know, I am good at keeping them, until I found out that 2 of the people I considered friends betrayed me.  In my 20 years of living, this is the first time I encountered this problem and I was so clueless on how to handle it. I felt so bad and the pain was even worse than a break-up.  The last time I felt this bad was 2 years ago, after I broke up with my boyfriend.  What made the situation worse was I never know what were their reasons for betraying me.  They never cared to tell me what I might have done wrong to them or what might have been wrong with me.  I don't know, maybe they just didn't have the balls to tell me even if I already confronted and asked one of them if there's something wrong.  And just like people who doesn't have any proper upbringing at all (I pity their parents who never raised them properly), they just laughed as if nothing happened.  And yes, I cried. The thought of betrayal is just so painful.  I couldn't believe they did that to think that I tried to be a great friend to them.  I was a true friend to them.  

After talking to my friends about this, I realized that God is great.  He always have better plans.  The other, other night, I prayed that *friend1 doesn't have ill-feeling towards me, that my intuition was wrong.  And then the next day, *friend1 chatted me on FB(even complimented me and stuff), so I thought, "wow, that was fast, thank you Lord".  Little did I know, it was God's way of showing me that they're not real friends because that was the same day I learned that they were talking behind my back and calling me names (God knows since when).  So, there, so much for those "friends" that I had.  My real friends are right, at the end of the day,  it's their lost not mine.  I'm always a real friend to everyone, including to them and if they didn't value it or appreciate it then clearly, they're the ones who has the problem. I'll stop pondering on the questions like what's wrong with me or what could I have done wrong.  Maybe the very reason they couldn't tell it to me is because nothing's wrong with me.  Maybe my real friends are right, they're just INSECURE bitches.  And yes, I think I should agree with it now.  I'm confident about myself.  I'm beautiful in every way I can be (inside-out). I'm intelligent and talented and so much more.  And more importantly, I'm happy, I choose to be happy.  I'm happy with all my decisions, no regrets.  I'm happy and contented with what I have now.  And now, I understand, maybe they couldn't stand the thought that I AM HAPPY. Oh well, some people. O.o

I'm looking at this situation on a different light now.  God let this happen so that I could appreciate more the real friends that I have.  And yes, I'll cherish these people everyday.  I'll always be thankful for these people who don't have second thoughts of telling me if I'm doing something wrong and will always accept me in spite of my stupidity.  Clearly, they're the ones worth keeping forever <3 

Anon. Anon. Anon

Let me talk about my drugs. Nope, not your ordinary drugs, not even my boyfriend.

My drugs,. is 

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

Ahh GAHD! Blame Eumi Danine Ramos Molina who introduced this to me. Who painstakingly insisted me to watch it. Huuuu. I'm done with the 3 seasons and I want to start season 4! 'Cause you know, I'm excited with Barney, I think he's falling for Robin! Oh gahd! HAHAHAHA I'm having cold sweats and my heart beat is not normal while I'm typing this. Jeez, just thinking about it makes me crazy, I NEED MY DAILY DOSE OF HIMYM :( 

I just have to let this out. 

Kthnxbye!

when bossa couldn't lift my spirits

Hi there. Eumi and I watched Shrek Forever After yesterday and I attended Dara's debut (pool party). Ex called me this morning, and haaayy, I feel down again, my "one of the days" attack :(

Dear, let's avoid bvs (bad vibes), okei? Please, just trust me, yes? I love you more than anyone in this world. People know it and you know it. This isn't easy, but trust me when I say I'll wait for you. Dear, 1 year and 5 months is not that long, trust me. Next thing we know, we'll be together again, but for the mo, let's trust each other, okay? I know I do trust you, I trust you not only that you wouldn't cheat on me, but I also trust you that you wouldn't give up on me, on us. We can do this! We will prove ourselves one day that we made it. *sigh* i love you,okay? Hang on, dear, 2011 is near, you'll be back and i'll be waiting. P.S.: I don't care about the other boys, I have the best :) 

To My First love and True love

Hai there ~.~ 

I'm not sure how would this go about.  This can be long and painful or short yet sweet. It might be simple or complicated, I don't really know. All I know is that this would be truthful in every word and no room for any pretensions whatsoever.  

And so, here goes nothing. . .

You, my first love, is the only person who I owe the most of who I am today.  You'll always have a little space in my life forever. Now I understand why all these years, you're always that someone I think of every time I'll look at myself and think of how much I've changed. Although, I had been denying it to myself and not a single soul knows about this. Thanks to my professor who enlightened me, however indirectly, in this situation.  And from now on, I'll recognize the fact that one of the ingredients of me today is you. 

And you, my true love, who makes me do things I've never done before, who patiently waited for me and see all the changes in me, who finally took the risk so that the "us" today becomes a realization. I thank you forever and ever. And yes, I'll wait, just like what we did, we waited for the "us" to happen and Thank God and fate and the universe for finally letting this sweetest conspiracy happen. Yes true love, I'll always be thankful. Each waking day of my life, I'll always whisper this silent prayer of appreciation for giving me the greatest gift of my life, yet. And that is to be finally be with you, to finally let out the love that has been hidden all these years. This feels so good, so right, I never want it to end. This is a forever dream I would not want to wake up from. It might have a few nightmares here and there but that would make the dream more realistic, more worth it, more precious and more priceless. I'm so full right now I couldn't contain myself. Gaaahhhh, this is true love.  

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

I'm supposed to be watching HIMYM now but I'm not :x

"Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

Can I relate to this? DEFINITELY! :)) And I made the right choice ;). Do I have to elaborate about it? I don't think so. Let me just put it this way,.

I'M THIS HAPPY ^__________________________________________________^,

this happy everyday, though, crappy feelings crawl up once in awhile, they're gone by the time I go to bed. Heeee :3. And that's thanks to you Mr. Second Choice that I chose and never,ever have regrets of doing so :P 

UBER BORED! XD

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety!
What is your favorite..
gum:	cry baby! HAHAHA
restaurant:	for the mo., hmm,. i can't think of any! HAHAHA
drink:	lemonade blush. caramel coffee :)
season:	season of love! HAHAHA
type of weather:	rainy
emotion:	undecided. :D
thing to do on a half day:	go straight home, surf the net, watch HIMYM :D
late-night activity:	sleep
sport:	sleeping and eating! (first placer!)
city:	Davao :) "my heart now belongs to Davao"
store:
When was the last time you..
cried:	hmm...2 or 3 weeks ago
played a sport:	yesterday (eat and sleep) :P
laughed:	awhile ago (thanks to HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER)
hugged someone:	hahaha i think i hugged a friend this week, or was it last week? :)
kissed someone:	April 13,2010! (will stay this way until September of 2011)
felt depressed:	yesterday, kinda,.
felt elated:	the other day
felt overworked:	last sunday!!!! gaaahhhddd! D;
faked sick:	last week :P
lied:
What was the last..
word you said:
thing you ate:	rice and patties
song you listened to:	Talk Shows on Mute/Incubus
thing you drank:	iced tea
place you went to:	school
movie you saw:
movie you rented:
concert you attended:	Tanduay First 5 Concert
Who was the last person you..
hugged:	a friend, I can't remember who. Marianne I guess :3
cried over:	ex? (i was lonely, alright)
kissed:	EX! :D
danced with:	friends hahaha. I think with Eumi
shared a secret with:	Eumilot
had a sleepover with:	Eumimi
called:	EX :)
went to a movie with:	Cj and Boss Police heheh :3
saw:	my prof.
were angry with:	my world lit. classmates!
couldn't take your eyes off of:	my computer screen
obsessed over:
Have you ever..
danced in the rain:	yes
kissed someone:	yes
done drugs:	no
drank alcohol:	yes
slept around:
partied 'til the sun came up:	YES! HAHAHA (movie partey!)
had a movie marathon:	yes!
gone too far on a dare:	YES! lovette!
spun until you were immensely dizzy:	YES!

HATE POST :)

Finally, summer class is over. Huzzzaazz! 

And since tapos na ang summer class, I just want to say this.

Leche ang mga classmate ko sa likod. Lalo na ung babaeng anlakas-lakas ng bunganga. Miss, pede mabingi Ilang decebel lang ang kaya ng tenga ko, and gaaahhhdd, masisiraan ako ng tenga sayo. Di kayo ganun kagaling, lalo ka ng miss,.err,ewan, yan na lang tawag ko sayo, or panget, pede rin. So, anyway, as I was saying miss ewan and panget, di kayo ganun kagaling para manlait kayo ng mga classmate natin. Oo, naririnig ko kayo nung sobrang panget mong kasama na tinatawanan mga classmate natin. Sus, gahd, english lang? MAS MAGALING AKO SA'YO. And ako na mas magaling sa'yo hindi nanlalait ng classmates natin, ikaw pa ang may ganang manlait dyn. Eeiiww.. Oh well, so ganun nga, ayun, sana di ko na kayo maging classmates forever. HAHAHAHA. 

**My first hate post ever, yata, to certain people. oh well, di naman nila to mababasa, or kung mabasa nila, okay lang din. :)) 

A friend: Anong course mo?

Me: Mass Comm.

A friend: A Mass Comm-portable sa bahay? HAHAHAH

Me: heee :3

People often thinks that the course Mass Communication is easy and well,. easy. Well, NO, it's not. I don't understand why people can joke about it as "Mass Comm-portable" 'cause it's not comfortable in any way. If you want to last as a Mass Comm. student, you should always be ready for no sleep lifestyle, criticisms, PRESSURE (definitely pressure), among other things. Someone who couldn't handle pressure will never survive this course. And one must also be good at multi-tasking and a go-getter! Good aesthetics would go a long way,too. And, yea, this course is never for the faint hearted. With all the criticisms and swearing you'll get during productions, the one with the strong heart wins. 

So there, this is the lifestyle that I've chose and I'm embracing it with all that I am. I am happy, this is what I've been wanting for so long. And I know, I'll survive. 

'cause I'm happy like that! :D

Funny, 'cause people often ask me of my age and when I say I'm 20, their reactions like: "NO WAY? You sure you're 20?! You look like a HIGH SCHOOL student!" And my signature reply would be: *laughs* oh really? Thanks! :)

I don't know why I look younger than my age. Err, maybe because of my new hairstyle? 

Or is it because I'm naturally a jolly and bubbly person :D I don't know what happened to me, but I suddenly look at life in a different way. I always find a way to look at the brighter side of things even if they're shitty as hell. Few years back, my being pessimistic was so unbearable, it led me to hell and it made me do stupid things and decisions. But after that, I don't really know what happened. I felt that I started to get better and better. The way I act, the way I think and the way I treat and face life. 

I want to think that if you're always happy, it will radiate. And I want to stay that way, to be practically happy and in love too! And radiate happiness and love to each and everyone. It's fun you know, and it feels good, too. No worries, no hassles, just a good life! :D And ofcourse, I also want to think, well, I really think that entrusting everything to that "Big Man" up there would always be a great help! :D 

Ahh, NEW LIFE! :D 

*P.S.: even if i'm always happy, doesn't mean I'm a goody-two shoes,kei? I can still be cunning and mean sometimes! SOMETIMES lang >:D 

Care Package :D

Hai! ~ ~ ~

I just slept the whole day -_- Huuuuzzaazz, oversleeping=headache :/

So what's new?

Nothing much really, same old, same old. I still miss him like crazy! =))

So let's talk about care packages.

Yeap, I want to give and receive random care packages :) I actually planned to send him care packages. Sad, though, because it's so fucking expensive! UGH! :( meh. Haaist, should I have a job right now, I could definitely send him one, but I can't, 'cause I'm still a student. meh :&

Anyway, since, there wouldn't be any way that I could send him care packages, I'll just share here what would be the things I'll be sending him ;)

• Clash of the Titans and Ironman 2 dvds - he wants to watch these movies, esp. Clash of the Titans. Sad, 'cause we weren't able to watch it before he left. 
• A condom cellphone charm- Hahaha, Yeap, you read it right. They exist! :) And I would want to send him one. I know, when he receives it, he would laugh his heart out ;) 
• 11:55 - His perfume. He forgot to buy one before he left. Tsk. And yea, I love, love, love this scent *thump, thump*
• Chupa Chups Relax (for smokers) - Not that I'm asking him to stop or whatever, it's really still up to him if he wants to stop smoking. I just like to give this to him because this is the gift that I planned to give him on our "little" kris kringle. (Yes, I'd still like to give this so that I'll have my new set of undies! hahahaha. 'cause that's what he planned on giving me.)

So there. Heeee :3 Oh well, I may not be able to send these care packages, but atleast, I thought about it. HAHAHA.

ily and imy ;) 

Medley :)

You make my dreams come true. The search is over, you were with me all the while. Funny how from simple things the best things begin. Kiss me thru the phone, see you when I get home. O kay sarap isipin, kasama kang tumanda. Maybe we've only just began, maybe the best is yet to come. However far away, I will always love you. You can't hurry love, no you just have to wait. 678triple98212. I'll take care of you, have faith that when you call my name, I'll be there. There's a love that transcends all that we've known ourselves. I will wait forever just to know you are mine. Especially for you, I want to let you know what I was going through. Loving you, oh, such an easy thing to do. All I wanna do is grow old with you. You got me thinking 'bout our life, a house and kids. Sex and white lies, handcuffs and alibis. So if you ever love me, show me that you give a damn.

*Best read on champagnesandcocktails.blogspot.com :) 

boredom ii

Seven things I wanna share:

1.  I'm a sucker for HELLO KITTY stuffs.

2.  I finally had the guts to pursue my dreams. :) 

3.  I can finally eat without worrying about my weight! :P 

4.  I can finally eat durian without throwing up (well, as long as it's Arancillo) 

5.  I'm a frustrated photographer -_-

6.  I'm a sleepy head (I just realized it just today) 
 7.  I'm a workaholic (given a chance to have a work that I really, really like) 

Tag: Alphabet Version...

A - Age: 20

B - Band Listening To Right Now: nothing. hahaha :)) 

C - Career: taking up Mass Communications, therefore, I haz a lot of career to choose after grad. :P 

D - Drink or Smoke: drink occasionally, but never smokes ;) 

E - Easiest Friends To Talk To: eumi. jill. kirs. cha :D

F - First Crush: Dean (i hope he won't able to read this one. we're friends in fb hahaha)

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: gummy worms! :D 

H - Have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend: BOYFRIEND! :D 

I - In love: SUPER! *thump, thump*

J- Junk Food You Like: any potato chips 

K - Kids: soooon ;) [magagandang lahi ;P]

L - Longest Ride Ever: Leyte-Manila @.@

M - Making love out of nothing at all: nope-y

N - Names For Your Future Kids: damien marie. micheal chase. mary rose red crystal jade (pagtinopak ako, ganito kahaba pag sa babae. hahaha)

O - One Wish You Have Now: forever and ever and ever with you :) 

P - Phobias: closed space

Q - Favorite Quote: "life's a bitch, fuck it real hard!"

R - Reasons To Smile: little things ;) 

S - Sleeping Time: anytime

T - Time You Woke Up: 6am 

U - Unknown Fact About You: I have great little talents that only few people know ;P 

V - Vegetable You Hate: OKRA! and anything slimy :&

W - Worst Habit: eating infront of the television (is that even worst?)

X - X-rays You’ve Had: medical examination, for health card. hehe. good thing i'm clean! ;) 

Y - Yummy Foods: many, many, many! 

Z - Zodiac Sign: Capricorn ;D

boredom :P

Rules:

* Do the following without any complaints.
* Choose 5 lucky people to do this after you have done it.
* Leave a tag at his/her tagboard if he/she has been tagged.


FAVORITES:
* Colors : green. yellow. purple. black :)
* Food: anything on the table. kidding! a lot! :D
* Song: Kasama kang tumanda (yea! kilig, kilig. weegol, weegol)
* Movie: My Only U (sige na, allow me to be corny and cheesy this time, yes?)
* Sports: basketball (if it's uaap)
* Day of the week: random day, any day. hahahaha
* Season: if Phils. has 4 seasons, I'd like fall :)
* Ice cream: coffee crumblr or banana split :P

CURRENTS:
* Mood: unknown

* Taste: salty. (just finished eating fried rice)
* Shirt: white pambahay shirt
* Desktop: hahaha.ex's photo ;)
* Toenail: technicolor. *nips! nips! :P
* Time: 12:54 pm
* Surroundings: sala. tv on my left.
* Thoughts: too many to mention (feel nilang magsabay-sabay gumulo sa isip ko)

FIRSTS:
* Bestfriend: grace lim hahaha
* Movie: can't remember, but for sure, it gus to be a horror flick ;)
* Lie: can't remember. too many lies hahahaha
* Songs: i'm old!!! i can't remember :(

LASTS:
* Cigar: years, years, years ago. just for fun ;) but not really a smoker
* Drink: last week!! HAHAH sooooo wasted :P
* Car ride: umm....last week. takas mode ;P
* Phone call: last night :) with ex <3 <3 <3

* CD: Fruitcake. thanks to sir alex! :) 

HAVE YOU EVER:
* Dated your best friend: hahahah :))
* Broke the law: yeap! yeap!
* Been arrested: never! hahaha
* Kissed someone you don’t know: nah. we'll do it prolly soon ;)

5 THINGS YOU’RE WEARING:
* undies
* brassiere
* white shirt
* red lipstick
* blue shorts

4 THINGS YOU’VE DONE TODAY:
* went to school
* uploaded a picture
* did my 3rd day 30 day tumblr challenge
* cooked brunch

3 THINGS YOU CAN HEAR NOW:
* First Wives' Club
* electric fan
* whispers sa neighbor :P

fucked up

hai ~ ~ ~

I'm not feeling well today. I feel nauseous and I couldn't breath properly. I even have a big ugly bruise on my leg that has a little bump in a middle that hurts when pressed. Ugh @.@ what's wrong with my body?

I don't like visiting doctors.  I don't like medical check ups, but this time, I'm considering on visiting one 'cause right now, these (i don't know what to call them, symptoms?) are bothering me.

I shall not die young. I still have a plan on throwing my 80th birthday party in the future.

Ugh, death, get away from me. It's not yet my time, kei? I'll see you in the future, not soon . . .